7 Signs it is Time For a Divorce
Only two people know when it is time for a divorce – you and your partner. However, people you know who observe you and your spouse might know before you do that your marriage is ending. It is often easier to spot the warning signs of divorce when you are outside looking into the relationship instead of being a partner in the relationship.
You might have a best friend or a family member willing to tell you that they have spotted the warning signs that indicate a divorce might be in your future. However, that news could be difficult for you to hear if divorce or separation has never crossed your mind.
7 Signs That You Might Be Headed for a Divorce
If you have doubts about your relationship, you might want to consider these seven signs that indicate a divorce might be in your future. These signs do not mean you will get a divorce, but they could indicate that there are some serious issues to address in your relationship.
Abuse in the Home
Domestic violence and abuse take many forms. Physical abuse is prevalent. However, spouses may also be victims of sexual, emotional, verbal, and financial abuse.
Whenever there is domestic abuse, you need to find a safe way to get help. The National Domestic Abuse Hotline is 1-800-799-SAFE (7233).
Make sure that when you contact an abuse hotline or a family law attorney, that you erase your call log and computer history to avoid your spouse from discovering your actions, which could put you in danger. You can also call 911 for help if you fear for your life and safety or the lives and safety of your children.
Increasing Focus on Things Outside of Marriage
There is nothing inherently wrong when partners have separate interests. One spouse may enjoy sports, while the other spouse prefers artistic endeavors.
However, when spouses increase focus on things outside of the marriage, there could be problems. A spouse might be focusing on a hobby or relationships outside of the marriage because the spouse wants to end the relationship.
Emotional Disengagement or Lack of Intimacy
Maintaining intimacy relies on an emotional connection with your partner. Being willing to discuss your feelings and your partner’s feelings is essential to developing and maintaining a healthy relationship. When you become emotionally disengaged, you lose empathy and concern for the wellbeing of your spouse.
Having sexual relations is more than just engaging in a physical connection. Sexual relations are a way to reinforce and express your emotional connection.
A Partner is Having an Affair
For some individuals, infidelity is the end of a marriage. They cannot forgive their spouse for the affair. Some spouses can work through infidelity to continue a committed relationship.
If your spouse wants to be with the person, the marriage is over. It is a clear indicator that it is time to seek a divorce. Some states recognize infidelity as a ground for divorce, but California is a no-fault state for divorce actions.
No Communication Between Partners
Effective communication is a critical factor in a healthy marriage. Without communication, you cannot resolve problems, set goals, and continue to deepen your relationship. Arguing or “going through the motions” is not effective communication.
If your spouse is unwilling to communicate or work on effective communication skills, you might want to consider a divorce. However, a collaborative divorce might not be possible if you cannot communicate.
Lack of Trust
Trust is another foundation of a healthy marriage. You must trust your partner to be faithful and make decisions in the best interest of the family. If your partner cannot acknowledge his or her role in breaking the trust, it can be challenging to repair it.
With trust also comes respect. If your partner does not respect you, it can be impossible to maintain the marriage. You may struggle with numerous issues because of a lack of trust and respect, including financial decisions, childrearing decisions, and career choices.
No Interest in Counseling or Resolving Issues
Couples have problems and issues that they must work through and resolve to maintain their relationship. In some cases, spouses need professional help to work through their issues. Counseling is often helpful.
Having a third party facilitate discussion and identify problems can help a couple work together to resolve problems. Trained professionals can also teach couples skills that improve communication and help identify and correct personal traits that might be negatively impacting the marriage.
If a spouse is unwilling to go to counseling or work to resolve the problem, it may be time to talk with a family law attorney about beginning the divorce process.