How Do I Manage Communications After a Divorce?

Hossein Berenji, Aug 29, 2023

Divorce may be the end of your marriage, but it is rarely the end of your relationship with your former spouse in California. Once the court signs the final order of divorce and dissolves your marriage, there may still be reasons you need to communicate with your ex-spouse. This is especially true if you have children in common or if the court ordered ongoing spousal support.

Communicating effectively with your ex-spouse can be challenging, especially if the divorce was acrimonious. Some cases warrant communicating only in a divorce or Beverly Hills child support lawyer presence — or not communicating at all. But for many situations, there are several tips you can follow to ensure that any communications you have are productive and do not create further conflict.

Four Tips For Healthier Post-Divorce Communication

Even if you and your ex-spouse agree that you are incompatible and a divorce is the best outcome for you, there may be conflict and challenges in your communications with each other. Communicating effectively with each other about your children or ongoing obligations requires effort from both of you.

For your part, you can help foster better communication after a divorce in Beverly Hills by:

1. Leaving the Past in the Past

Regularly bringing up the past does not help you and your ex-spouse work together in the present. Focus on the issue at hand that needs to be discussed, and try to avoid discussing past mistakes.

2. Paying Attention To the Tone of Your Voice

The tone of your voice and the way you approach communication with your ex-spouse can impact how well the interaction goes. If you raise your voice, get defensive, or choose a sarcastic tone, it is reasonable to expect that your approach will be reciprocated.

And when both parties are on the defensive with one another, it is hard to make any headway in tackling the issues you have.

3. Avoiding Communication Through Family or Friends

Communicate with one another directly and not through family members, friends, or your children. This not only helps reduce the chance for misunderstandings, but it also communicates respect to your ex-spouse, making it more likely that they will respond in kind.

There may be situations, however, where you must communicate through email, text messages, or even through third parties. For instance, if you and your ex-spouse cannot interact directly without contention, you may need to find more productive ways of talking about issues. The important point is to find the most direct way for the two of you to talk.

Consulting a qualified divorce attorney can help you decide on the best method of communicating with your former spouse.

4. Ensuring You Don’t Assume Negative Intentions

Divorce changes the dynamic of your relationship with your former spouse. There will be challenges as the two of you adjust to the new reality. Be patient with each other, and do not assume that miscommunications are deliberate attempts to sabotage the other or cause difficulties in the relationship.

Try to identify problems in communicating as they arise, and find solutions together. The result can be less stressful for all parties involved.

Your Efforts At Better Post-Divorce Communication Will Be Rewarded

Communicating effectively with your ex-spouse after a divorce can seem daunting. However, your former spouse may remain a part of your life for years after a divorce is finalized. Learning ways to speak productively with your ex-spouse can help make your post-divorce life less stressful and less complicated, helping you to move forward into this new chapter of your life.

Contact a Beverly Hills Divorce Law Lawyer Today

If you’re going through a divorce, you need a strong team on your side fighting for your rights. Call Berenji & Associates today to know how we can assist you.

Beverly Hills Office
9595 Wilshire Blvd Ste 959
Beverly Hills CA 90212
(310) 271-6290

Los Angeles Office
550 S. Hill Street STE 1467
Los Angeles, CA 90013
(213) 985-3007