How To Deal With A Narcissistic Parent
Someone who has a narcissistic personality can be challenging to live with, even on good days. If you’re involved in divorce proceedings or child custody issues with this person, however, it can feel impossible to get them to cooperate or even treat you fairly. Narcissism and child custody problems are particularly challenging because your child’s well-being is on the line.
As you begin making custody arrangements, knowing how to deal with a narcissistic parent is essential. Take a closer look at what this personality is like and what steps you can take to help yourself and your child get through this difficult time.
What Is A Narcissistic Parent?
A narcissistic parent is one who has narcissistic personality disorder, which is a mental health condition that causes people to have an overly grandiose opinion of themselves. It goes beyond high self-esteem, though. Narcissists will go out of their way to seek attention and appear excessively confident in all aspects of their lives.
At the same time, they tend to have a deep lack of compassion and believe that they deserve special treatment from everyone. Some of the most common signs of a narcissistic parent include:
- Requiring constant admiration
- Being preoccupied with fantasies of their child’s success
- Being critical of others
- Believing they and their children are special
- Having a sense of entitlement
- Displaying arrogant behavior
- Struggling to manage their emotions
- Easily feeling slighted
- Manipulating others in any way they can
- Belittling others, including their child
Because narcissistic parents expect so much of themselves and their children, they often struggle with depression and can place immense pressure on their children to achieve the goals that they set. This can result in self-esteem issues for the child.
Narcissistic Parent Vs. Loving Parent
The differences between narcissistic parents and loving parents are not always visible because of the facade that a narcissist presents to the outside world. A closer look, however, can reveal a stark contrast.
A loving parent will put their child’s needs first, especially when going through child custody issues. For example, if the child would live a happier life with the other parent, a loving parent will be ready to do what’s best for them. A narcissistic parent, on the other hand, might put themselves first — even if their child will suffer for it.
Boundaries can also be an issue with narcissistic parents. They can feel entitled to be part of the child’s life at all times and not respect their personal space or privacy. The opposite is true of loving parents. These parents will demonstrate deep compassion for the child, which is generally not an option for a narcissistic parent.
Addressing The Challenges Of Child Custody Proceedings With A Narcissistic Parent
Although any legal process, from spousal support to property division issues, can be difficult to navigate with a narcissistic partner, child custody can be particularly challenging because of the high emotions involved. Victims of narcissists could face an uphill climb in California courts because of how normal lying is for the other person.
Fortunately, there are steps you can take to combat this.
Keep Clear Records Of Interactions
Narcissists can easily paint an image of themselves that isn’t true and convince the court to give them what they want. They can exaggerate how involved they are in the child’s life or how much it would affect them if they were denied custody. It’s common for them to try to minimize how much you’re involved in your child’s life, too.
To counter these lies, it is important to keep clear records of everything. If they text you to cancel a scheduled visitation, for example, you can present this in court to show that they are not as involved as they pretend to be.
The same is true if they deny your requests to spend time with your child. When they claim that you never see your child, you can show evidence that they’re the ones preventing you from doing so.
Maintain Open Communications With Your Child
One of the most common tactics narcissistic parents rely on is turning your child against you. They may lie to them about arguments or even tell them that you’re not interested in seeing them. To fight against this, ensure that you maintain regular and open communications with your child.
Encourage them to express themselves and ask questions about anything they would like to know. Take every opportunity to speak with them and push back against the lies that the other parent may be telling them.
Stick To The Truth In Court
During court proceedings, it’s important to stick to the facts and avoid exaggerating. The narcissistic parent will likely make sure to do enough of the latter, so you can present a contrasting picture to the judge. Offer your side of the story in a calm and composed manner and without sensationalizing the situation.
Proving Narcissistic Abuse In Court
A parent is not automatically denied custody in California because they have narcissistic personality disorder. It can occur, however, if they have been abusive to their child. Narcissistic abuse can cause severe distress in children, putting them at risk of developing mental health conditions like depression and anxiety.
To prove this abuse occurred and to let the court know that the child would not be in good hands with a narcissistic parent, it can be helpful to obtain testimonies from expert witnesses on how much harm a parent with this personality disorder can cause. It’s also important to present evidence that shows instances of the abuse you say your child suffered.
If your child is old enough to do so, you can also rely on their statements. The court can take those into account when making a custody decision.
Fighting For Custody Rights In California
If you’re in the middle of a custody battle with a narcissistic parent, it’s vital that you hire a family law attorney with experience in the various challenges this type of case can pose. Ultimately, you want what’s best for your child, and the narcissistic parent may want what’s best for themselves. With the help of an attorney, you can make this difference crystal clear in court.
Contact a California Divorce Lawyer Today
For more information, contact our experienced California divorce lawyers at Berenji & Associates Divorce Lawyers by calling (310) 271-6290 to schedule a consultation.
We serve all through Los Angeles, Beverly Hills, Los Angeles County, and its surrounding areas. Visit any of our offices at:
Berenji & Associates Divorce Lawyers Los Angeles Office
550 S. Hill Street STE 1467
Los Angeles, CA 90013
(213) 277-2586
Berenji & Associates Divorce Lawyers Beverly Hills Office
9465 Wilshire Blvd #333
Beverly Hills, CA 90212
(213) 277-2586