Can Divorced Couples Still Be Friends?
Divorce isn’t one of the happier life events, especially if you’re in the trenches of one. But some divorces can pave the way for a new kind of relationship — friendship. If you care deeply about your ex-partner, it’s natural to wonder, can you stay friends with your ex?
Just because your marriage ends doesn’t mean that everything you went through together or felt for each other suddenly disappears. The foundation of a close friendship might already be there, just below the surface of a broken partnership.
Can Exes Remain Friends?
Is it always possible to be friends after divorce? No. Is it always advisable? Definitely not. There’s no manual that tells you how to remain friends with an ex or whether it’s the right move. But there may be benefits to trying, especially if you’re on good terms.
Co-Parenting
For couples with kids, being friends makes co-parenting much easier. If you’re communicating well and you respect each other, navigating custody arrangements and school events won’t be so hard on you or the kids.
Additionally, your kids aren’t as apt to feel caught between parents as they often do in heated divorce cases. It’s better for them to see their parents interacting positively, even if you’re not together anymore.
Social Circles
The same applies to your social circle, though these stakes are lower. If you and your ex stay friends, you can both hang out with all of your mutual buddies, and no one feels like they need to choose sides.
Life Experiences
Then there are the more personal benefits. Despite your differences, there’s no denying that you and your ex-spouse went through significant life events together. They probably understand you in a way few others do, and that kind of emotional support is difficult to replace or find elsewhere.
Personal Growth
Also, a post-divorce friendship demands serious emotional maturity and introspection to move past the hurt feelings and work toward a healthier dynamic. You might learn a thing or two about relationships — and yourself — in the process.
How To Approach Staying Friends With Exes
You and your ex might sincerely try to be friends and find that it’s better to go your separate ways — it’s a risk you have to be willing to take. However, approaching this endeavor with sensitivity and care gives you the best shot at making it work. Just be aware of the possible complications.
Timing
Don’t reach out for a friendly chat or lunch date too soon after your divorce. Give your ex — and yourself — time to heal and adjust to your new realities.
Boundaries
Your relationship now is not your relationship then. Clearly define the boundaries and respect them. If you still have unresolved romantic feelings, you probably shouldn’t pursue the friendship.
New Relationships
Adding new partners to the mix can complicate things fast. If you do bring them around, make sure they’re on board with the boundaries of your post-divorce friendship.
Your Well-Being
Again, a friendship with an ex-spouse isn’t always possible or healthy, even if it’s what you think you want. In cases of abuse, infidelity, or deep-seated conflict, trying to be friends might hurt you both even more, and you’d be better off limiting contact and focusing on moving forward.
Making the Choice
Ultimately, the decision to stay friends with your ex rests with the two of you. It might be a rocky road, but a successful post-divorce friendship can also be very rewarding — a positive way to redefine a relationship with someone who has played a very important role in your life.
Contact a Beverly Hills Divorce Lawyer Today
For more information, contact our experienced Beverly Hills divorce lawyers at Berenji & Associates Divorce Lawyers by calling (310) 271-6290 to schedule a consultation.
We serve all through Los Angeles, Beverly Hills, Los Angeles County, and its surrounding areas. Visit any of our offices at:
Berenji & Associates Divorce Lawyers Los Angeles Office
550 S. Hill Street STE 1467
Los Angeles, CA 90013
(213) 277-2586
Berenji & Associates Divorce Lawyers Beverly Hills Office
9465 Wilshire Blvd #333
Beverly Hills, CA 90212
(213) 277-2586