Does Infidelity Always Lead To Divorce?
More than half a million U.S. couples divorce each year. It’s hard to know exactly how many end as a result of adultery, but research shows that infidelity is not always a marriage breaker.
Nearly 2.1 million marriages were reported in 2022, according to the Centers for Disease Control. In the same year, 673,989 couples divorced. While infidelity has long been a leading reason for divorce, it’s not always the top cause.
Infidelity Is a Leading Cause of Divorce
Infidelity has been a key factor in the dissolution of marriages in the U.S. for decades. In fact, adultery has been a top reason for divorce among surveyed couples whose marriages ended in the past. It has also been followed by incompatibility, drinking or drug use, and growing apart.
More recent research noted by Psychology Today suggests infidelity still causes 20% to 40% of divorces. But this research also states that while cheating may be the final straw, it’s hardly the only straw. Other marital problems often precede adultery. It’s also important to keep in mind that adultery occurs in relatively happy marriages as well.
A spouse may cheat for a variety of reasons.
Some of the most common causes, according to the Mayo Clinic, include the following:
- Lack of affection
- A decrease in love and caring
- A lack of commitment
- A lack of communication
- Low self-esteem
- Depression
- Addiction, including addiction to sex or romance
- Having children
Infidelity may be linked to one or several of these factors.
How Many Marriages Survive Infidelity?
Infidelity does not automatically trigger a divorce, however. Psychology Today also highlights data that indicates 40% of adults who cheated on their spouse are separated or divorced, while just 17% who did not commit adultery are separated or divorced. From other research, Psychology Today shows that approximately 50% of couples remained married after an affair.
Divorce Magazine gives a slightly higher figure, stating that 60% to 75% of couples don’t seek divorce after adultery. However, when they decide to stay together, it does not instantly restore their trust and commitment to each other.
According to the same magazine, some stay in a marriage after multiple infidelities due to a fear of being single or concerns about how a divorce will affect the children. They may also forgo a divorce for financial reasons.
Staying Together: It’s Possible, But It’s Challenging
When couples decide to keep the marriage intact, the road ahead can be difficult. The Mayo Clinic describes it as one of the most challenging periods in a relationship. Weathering it requires a focus on healing and rebuilding trust.
The Mayo Clinic recommends that couples dealing with infidelity don’t rush into deciding whether to divorce or stay together.
If they choose to work on the marriage, the Mayo Clinic suggests:
- The couple should create a plan to restore trust, including a timeline and steps to take
- The spouse who cheated must take responsibility by admitting guilt and asking for forgiveness
- The betrayed spouse should offer forgiveness when they’re ready
- The couple should consider seeking guidance from a marriage counselor
- The couple should seek advice and support from friends, family members, and spiritual leaders
Both spouses must be equally committed to restoring the marriage. It will take time to heal, but the reward could be the emergence of a relationship that far exceeds their expectations.
When Moving Forward Isn’t an Option
Not all couples will be interested in continuing the relationship after adultery under any circumstances. In these cases, speaking to a compassionate divorce attorney is essential for determining the best path forward for everyone involved.
Contact a Los Angeles Family Law Lawyer Today
If you’re going through a divorce, you need a strong team on your side fighting for your rights. Call Berenji & Associates Divorce Lawyers today to know how we can assist you.
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